As I sit here reflecting on the life of my father, Clifford H. McKinney Sr., I’m filled with a mix of emotions – immense pride, deep love, and an unfillable void left by his absence. My Daddy was not just a father but a remarkable man, a beacon of joy, strength and love in the lives of all who knew him.
The Foundation of Love
Daddy was adored by his father, mother and brothers and sister as the youngest in the family. His mother fondly called him “Thomas Jefferson” for his intelligence and charm. This nickname always brings a smile to my face, as it speaks to the special bond he had with his family and their hopes for his future. This nurturing environment shaped him into the loving, caring man we all adored. His upbringing was a testament to the power of familial love, something he passed on to us.
A Source of Unwavering Support
His encouragement was the wind beneath my wings. From my early days to my journey through college, his words were my guiding light. Dad had a talent for writing the most heartfelt, inspiring letters. They were more than just words; they were his presence, his support, his belief in me. I recently found a letter that he wrote to my daughter Kailyn, in that very distinctive and unmistakable handwriting, that encouraged her and let her know that at all times he and grandma loved her and she was amazing!!!
A Grandfather’s Love – The Joy in His Heart
Dad’s love was all-encompassing, but his grandchildren held a special place in his heart. Christopher, Jianna, Kailyn, Matthew, and Keane II brought him immense joy. He cherished every moment with them, celebrating each milestone with joy and pride and never missing out on any opportunity to celebrate with them.
A Man of Faith and Laughter
His faith was as deep as his laughter was contagious. He earned a Master’s of Divinity, a journey that not only deepened his faith but also enriched our lives with his wisdom. His favorite quote was, “Don’t worry about anything. Pray about everything. Ask God for what you need.”
The Simple Pleasures
Dad had a penchant for simple joys. He loved old movies and if there were black and white that would be even better.
Sometimes when my brother and I were small he would turn our home into a haunted house and pretend to be a ghost. I can still hear his laughter echoing through the house as we pretended to be scared as he searched for us.
His love for Elton John’s music was infectious. We had to listen to every album for hours with the windows down and the music cranked up on our trips to return home to Alabama. Let’s not forget our stops at Krystal’s for 3 cheese Krystals with extra pickles and chicken gizzards from the gas station with a hot sauce pump.
He always took us to the opening weekend of the Star Wars and Superman movies where he promptly fell asleep snoring loudly and he woke up at the end like he had seen the whole movie.
Those are just some of the memories I hold dear.
Larger Than Life
Dad’s personality was larger than life – it filled any room. With him gone now everything seems oddly quiet. He was always there for us cheering the loudest at school events and celebrating our achievements with unwavering enthusiasm. He can be heard yelling “Encore, Encore” while being the only parent standing and clapping loudly at my band performances. The kids would say, “Whose Dad is that?” I would simply answer “Mine.”
Although he liked some things simple, shopping was not one of them. Dad LOVED shopping for himself, us, and most of all his grandkids. Before wearing labels was popular my Dad already had it. Before any trend became popular my Dad had already sported it. Before going to college at Alabama State each year, he took me and Cliff on a shopping spree from Miami, to Orlando, Atlanta, and Birmingham.
Sometimes Daddy’s confidence could be seen as arrogance but he was REALLY, REALLY confident in himself and his abilities. He always told us, “Walk into a room like you own it.” I have carried that with me throughout my career and if that is arrogance then, Like Father, Like Daughter.
Culinary Delights
He loved to cook, and his collard greens and pasta salad were the highlights of our family gatherings. His favorite restaurant was The Cheesecake Factory and every time we went out as a family, we ended up there as he NEVER let us pay. In his eyes, it was blasphemous if we ever offered. On Holidays he enjoyed cooking for the whole family. He made sure that everyone got the dish that they loved most from him.
Dad’s Enduring Love for Mom: A Tale of Contrasts
Among the many facets of my father, Clifford H. McKinney Sr., his love for my mother, Juanita, stands out as a defining element of his life. Their story began on the campus of Alabama State University, where their first meeting was less about immediate attraction and more about a gradual appreciation. Mom initially thought Daddy thought “too high” of himself, despite acknowledging his sharp dressing sense. But as they got to know each other, something beautiful blossomed between them.
They were a study in contrasts. Dad, with his loud and flamboyant personality, was the polar opposite of Mom’s quiet confidence. This difference, rather than being a hurdle, became the foundation of their deep connection. Dad, known for his strong opinions and assertiveness, found he couldn’t exert the same control over Momma. She had her own mind, her own way of doing things, and it was this independence and strength that he admired most in her.
Even through his health challenges, surgeries, and times of sickness, Dad’s primary concern remained for my mother. His love for her was unwavering. One of the last things he said to me was, “Take care of your mother.” It was a request that encapsulated his deep love and concern for her, and my brother and I always responded with a heartfelt, “I will.”
Their love story, marked by contrast, mutual respect, and deep affection, is a testament to the complex but beautiful nature of love. It was a love that not only endured the tests of time but also grew stronger through the challenges they faced together. Dad’s love for Mom was a significant part of who he was, and it continues to inspire me to understand the depth and resilience of true love.
A Farewell True to His Spirit and His Lasting Influence
In his final moments, as my father was slipping away, I found the strength to whisper a promise to him, a promise that encapsulated his life’s devotion. “I will take care of the family it’s ok. You can go now. You Mom, Dad, and Brothers are waiting,” I assured him, giving voice to a commitment that I knew mattered most to him. At that moment, there was a profound understanding, a silent acknowledgment of the mantle my brother and I would take on.
Dad left this world in the same manner he lived his life – on his own terms. This was quintessentially him; a man who charted his own path, who lived with a vibrant determination and a fierce independence. His departure, though deeply saddening, was a reflection of his strong-willed nature. He had always been the master of his destiny, never one to shy away from making tough decisions or standing firm in his beliefs.
That was my Daddy – a man who embraced life with a rare zeal, who loved deeply, and who shaped his journey with a bold, unapologetic spirit. His final act was a testament to the life he led, one marked by personal strength, love for his family, and an unwavering desire to do things his way. As we continue to navigate life without his physical presence, the memory of his indomitable spirit remains a guiding light, inspiring us to live with the same courage and conviction that he embodied every day.
Though I miss him every day, I find solace in the thought that he’s watching over us. I Love you, Daddy.
Always your little girl,
Kelsey
